It’s one thing to parent ourselves when our biological parents were not able to do the job; but it’s different to feel mothered from a force or being outside of us. This can be a tricky scenario to navigate however. In my own experience, any ‘mother substitute’ I’ve known has been just that… a virtual copy of my own mother. Not actually loving; but a controlling and manipulative personality. Since I came to this realisation, I have an aversion to relationship with those who may seek to ‘mother’ me. It’s not healthy for me, and not healthy for the other woman either.
For Mother’s Day I received the ‘Mother Mary Oracle’ by Alana Fairchild – with (deeply gorgeous) artwork by Shiloh Sophia McCloud.
On page 3 of the guidebook, there is a passage:
I have many names and faces.
Beyond those names and faces,
I am your loving mother always.
I come to you in light and darkness, through joy,
and even, my beloved, through loss and tragedy.
I am always your loving mother. I am seeking you.
If you can know this, then great peace and
spiritual power shall be yours
and you will help me bring love to this world.
Remember me. I am your loving mother always.
Well, if that’s not enough to get an unmothered woman right in the gut…
Yesterday (Mother’s Day) I drew a card from the deck. Funnily enough, it was the one card I pulled out to show A when I first looked through them all. Was immediately attracted to it. Each card has an overview of meaning written in the guidebook, along with an extended description – ending with a recommended visualisation and affirmation.
10. Our Lady of Creative Choice.
Here is a snippet of what I first read about this card:
“Do you know that you are a slave to no thing and to no one? You are a divine being. With the power of creative choice, you can create worlds, my beloved.”
That first sentence really brought me back to earth. Throughout yesterday my mind kept going to my mother, and her potential hurt feelings on the day. I felt guilt. The relationship with her almost cost me my life; I was inches from death on a handful of occasions. Yet the pull toward my mother remains. It was so comforting yesterday to be brought to my senses by these loving words of the oracle. A safe harbour.
Today I drew another card…
30. Our Lady of Growth Assured
“There is a beautiful manifestation, which you have long desired, coming to fruition now.”
The ending affirmation for this card brought tears to my eyes.
I look forward to getting to know Mother Mary. After two experiences with this deck, I truly am feeling a connection with divine ‘mother’ energy. Just to have a kind, safe, motherly input… it’s meaningful to me and could prove meaningful to other motherless people. That is why I’ve shared this.
Best wishes and love Xx