I’ve got nothing more to say right now.
Here on the blog, I’ve written about what I know; my own internal landscape, personal experiences. Felt as though I had no authority to write about anything else.
Ultimately, blogging seems to have been a way for me to meet certain realities face-to-face. To have some painful truths shift from my head and settle down inside my heart where they can be properly processed.
A great sign; I’ve ceased visiting abuse recovery support networks. They werent emotionally nourishing – and my excuse of ‘helping others’ became laughable when I noticed there are already helpers around who explain things and reach people in need far better than I’m capable of doing.
Shadow work (though painful and confusing at times) is helping me move on. It’s also an antidote to the ‘spiritual bypassing’ phenomenon. I thoroughly recommend the books:
– Romancing the Shadow by Connie Zweig and Steve Wolf.
– Shadow Dance by David Richo.
I’m also assisted and healed by ‘Mother Mary’ – an archetype I’ve begun to communicate with more and more. The ‘Mother Mary Oracle’ cards have been a wonderful gateway to making her acquaintance.
As well as that, journaling is amazing – and meditation too. Spending time listening to nature (have you noticed that in a neighbourhood, humans chatter and clatter the same way birds do?)
I have a massive amount of learning to do. At some point one has to realise that loss and pain are ongoing, for each of us, and somehow life carries on. Other people find a way to remain steady (and even create!) from the midst of uncertainty. I’ve so much respect for people who do…
I’ve been petrified long enough. What comes out of the shell may be pathetic, but emerge it must.
Best wishes everyone
Go well xxxx
Update: I returned, as it became apparent I still need this place to reflect.
Healing isn’t linear, is it.